The Dazzling Artistic Aspects of the Eighties Payphone

The Dazzling Artistic Aspects of the Eighties Payphone

We see them (or we see remnants of them) everywhere there are boarded-up shopping malls, closed-down military bases, trailer parks, or even some that are brand-spanking new in some former Soviet eastern block countries like North Korea and Uzbekistan.

Millennials frequently ask--what are they?

They are the Eighties push-button payphone and they are durable. They are able to take multiple direct hits from a Vulcan M61 50 caliber machine gun at point-blank range, they are able to withstand over 957 blows from a 10lb sledgehammer, they can endure blow torch temperatures over 3000 degrees Fahrenheit because you see--these phones were designed for the Cold War and they required state-of-the-art defensive armor to protect the $195 in it's coin box because all that chump change adds up and these statistics are by no means accurate.

The strange thing is despite how well armored these phones are (which is rumored to be depleted uranium hard-shell cover)--these phones were statistically able to be out of order 68.5% of the time--but don't worry--these machines will still take your change if they work or not in fact there is a fail safe device built into these phone which makes it virtually impossible for them not to take change--you just play a little roulette hoping that the phone was in service--it's like a metal push-button mafia member--it will take your money no matter what.

It's difficult at times looking at these machines in a nostalgic sense--it's like meeting up an old college roommate who owes you money and years later has no recollection of the amount.

I'm trying to develop a pitch on how one would sell these type of phones--"The 80s payphone is a great way to spice-up a living room--it's a superb element of Americana--a conversation piece which has endless possibilities of igniting artistic imaginations from all cultures and all countries and art communities from all corners of the world said by no interior designer or woman on the planet EVER!"

Harold Schelling is a freelance writer who lives and works in Houston, Texas and he loves sailing, sunsets, long walks on the beach, he hates people who play games especially Pokémon GO,  and he loves world peace. Heart symbol and smile!

Photo taken by Ralph Elliott
Written by Harold Schelling

Copyright © 2016  by Harold Schelling